His name was DJ. I met him standing in the place I go so no one can find me. I looked at the ground to see baby carrots sprinkled around the smaller trees and then the oldest wearing a sign that says poison. It’s the rabbits they want. There is nowhere for either of us to seek refuge anymore. Continue reading
It’s hard to open your chest and allow whatever is in your heart that day to pour onto these pages. There is nowhere to hide and I don’t want to. I want to live in a world that feels where there isn’t a billion dollar industry built on telling you there is something wrong with what floods out of yours. Continue reading
I am tired of writing about fire and my heart and the way the two mercilessly bash the other. I am tired of so many things these days, impatient and uncompromising. There are so many things I refuse to accept especially within myself and this moment right now is one of them, torturous but necessary because when I hit the keys, the sound reminds me that I still breathe. Continue reading
I could feel them not wanting me to win. For the first time in my life I didn’t doubt it. I spent my whole life not trusting it, believing what people said to me when they told me I was wrong, that it didn’t actually happen the way I saw and felt it and that I was too sensitive. I am and that is why I see clearly. The depth to which I can see and feel is beyond even my own comprehension and my body tells me all your secrets. Continue reading
I’m back now and back is where it begins. This start is going to be different from all my others. I thought they were true but they were just jumpstarts on a failing engine and now I’m the whole fucking car. I’m a Ferrari F12 and I never stop when the lights are red. Rules reek of control someone else has. I come at a hundred or not at all. I’ve never been an inbetweener. You’ve seen the way people lose their minds in the streets when they see something shiny that doesn’t belong to them.
Even when I’m parked in the gutter, you’re still going to watch. We are trading places now, I cannot watch anymore and fail to do. This time in history is here to give fuel to women who looked like my before. They don’t teach us about words like torque so I’m here to tell you it means force and there is none greater than the will of a woman reborn. We are going to use it to change the course of our future.
I am not a walker and what’s on my screen now is a show we won’t be able to turn off. You’re not going to shackle me slowly, hoping I don’t notice that it’s starting to look alot like I’m wearing my grandmother’s eyes. I never got to meet either of mine, life left them before mine began. I met them when I thought I was dead. They course through my veins like a raging river. They speak of renaissance and I thank them for making my heart swell even when I was not sure I could carry its weight. That was before I knew what a chassis was and did not believe enough in the strength of my bones.
I trust in that marrow now and I am here to make guttural sounds until you recognise that howl from a place deep inside yourself and know how to unleash a sound like that from your mouth. We will need this if we stand any chance in the face of what is coming next. One woman standing in her truth and power becomes two and then two thousand and then two hundred thousand. It’s time to come alive.
Artwork By: Amy Willis